The A-Z of Sirius Black's Heart
by Sable Supernova
Summary: Sirius Black didn't fall in love. At least, that's what he told himself. Here are 26 times he almost did, with the girls (and boys) who were almost the one. Featuring special appearances from Lust, Heartbreak and Emotional Avoidance. First few: Unrequited, Lily, WolfStar, Slytherin and Alcohol. M for just in case.
1. U is for Unrequited

Written for the Lyric Inspired Drabble Challenge, for Taylor Swift - I Knew You Were Trouble, for the lyric:

 _Once upon time A few mistakes ago I was in your sights._

Also written for the A-Z Competition, for U - Unrequited.

Words: 532

For those who want a sense of the chronology of this collection, this is set in early 7th Year.

* * *

 **U is for Unrequited**

Once upon a time, a few mistakes ago, I was in your sights. I remember it like it was yesterday. You would flutter your eyelashes up at me, and I'd turn the other way. It was always a game with you and me, wasn't it? Trying to work out which of us would cave first. I was the game you loved to play, back then, but I had my eyes on other prizes. I played along as a good friend would, but something told me it always meant more to you. I was carefree and easy. You were in love.

When we were even younger, I'd make a crude joke and you'd come back with a witty retort. I thought you were going to be the one. The one I fell for; the one who saved me. But that was before I grew up, realised childhood crushes were nothing more than that, and found other skirts to follow.

We were always friends, you and I, but we kept everyone amused. They said we'd shag each other senseless one day and get it all over and done with.

And then I found other girls, glorious girls, and other jokes to make. You found the Ravenclaw. Don't get me wrong, he was nice and everything, but the Marlene McKinnon I knew could do so much better. She could have had me. He was weak; he was a boy. He caved to your every whim, and grew bored when he asked for nothing in return, and you gave him what he asked for.

That ended badly for you, as I imagined it would. When you needed a shoulder to cry on at three o'clock in the morning, I was there. You came to rely on me, and I didn't mind that. I took it in my stride, because I wanted to see you happy again. But then that trust you felt began to grow to something more for you, didn't it? You began to see me as more than a friend, more than a shoulder. You wanted me to be your everything. I didn't see. Or at least, I told myself I didn't see. I tuned it out. It was complicated, messy, and more than I wanted to deal with.

I ran the other way, headlong, for miles. I didn't do commitment; I didn't make promises. We could have had something special, dammit, and I couldn't bring myself to risk that happening. I didn't want to break your heart. And that's all I leave behind me, every time. Tire tracks and broken hearts.

I couldn't do that to you.

You didn't understand, of course. That broke your heart anyway. Maybe one day you'll get it.

I think you hate me now. I think you see me as the one who played with your heart and left it in the dirt. I never meant to do that. I wasn't that guy, Marlene; I was your friend. Your fucked-up, unthinking, idiot of a friend.

Marlene, you're the girl I should have had. We're the couple that should have been.

But I couldn't do it.

I'm sorry.

I hope, one day, you'll be able to accept that apology.


	2. L is for Lily

Written for the Lyric Inspired Drabble Challenge, for Taylor Swift - I Knew You Were Trouble, for the lyric:

 _I guess you didn't care And I guess I liked that_

Also written for the A-Z Competition, for L - Lily.

Words: 506

For chronology, this is set in 5th Year.

* * *

 **L is for Lily**

"Hey, Lily, you seem tense. I could help," I suggested with a sly smile. She rolled her eyes.

"Not on your life, Sirius." It was the usual response. I knew I shouldn't have encroached on my best friend's girl, but everyone knew I wasn't being serious.

"You just ask your mate what I'm missing," I told her with a wink. Once I started, I swear I didn't know how to stop.

"Which one?" she countered. Damn her quick wit. It took me a moment to realise she wasn't supposed to know about either of them. Honestly, do women tell each other everything?

But there was something about Lily. She was hot, sure, but she didn't show it. She didn't roll her skirt up like the others, she didn't wear that much make up. She smiled and laughed and cried without worrying what she looked like, or who was there to see. I guess she didn't care, and I guess I liked that.

Merlin knew I'd had enough of girls who did.

I hadn't been able to get her off my mind for months. What was worse was that I couldn't even talk about it. I didn't know how to get over a crush without either going for it and realising it had been a mistake, or telling the guys so that they could list all the reasons it was a bad idea. Peter was no good; he couldn't keep a secret to save his life. Remus would tell James out of honour or loyalty or something. James... ha! Right. And the other guy we shared a dorm with, Danny, was best mates with Lily's best mate. Word would get out.

It wasn't that I was keeping it from James, as such. Okay, I totally was. But it would hurt him, and after everything, that was the last thing I wanted.

It was a few weeks later when I made the same joke, and before a sense of déjà vu could wash over me, I spoke up.

"You know I'm being serious, don't you?" I asked her. She turned to face me.

"What?"

"There's something about you. We could have fun."

I could hardly believe what I was saying, but Gryffindor courage didn't always show up at opportune moments. Sometimes it showed up when you were just in need of a quick shag.

"Do you want me to tell Potter?"

I blushed, looking away guiltily. "I know I shouldn't. Doesn't change anything."

"Sirius, you're great and all, but you're not for me," she said with a pathetic sad smile.

I nodded. I supposed, at least, it was half a win. "Sorry," I told her, mirroring her expression.

She never had to know the truth. She shouldn't know it was ever more than a casual fancy, an idea half-formed. Neither did James. It was better that way.

Sirius Black didn't fall in love, anyway, I thought as I watched her walk away. I thought I broke a lot of hearts, but Lily Evans crushed them, without ever knowing.


	3. S is for Slytherin

Written for the Lyric Inspired Drabble Challenge, for Taylor Swift - I Knew You Were Trouble, for the lyric:

 _Cause I knew you were trouble when you walked in_

Also written for the A-Z Competition, for S - Slytherin

Words: 501

For chronology, this is set in late 6th Year.

* * *

 **S is for Slytherin**

When a Slytherin walks into the Gryffindor Common Room, you know there's about to be a scene. What was worse was that Gryffindor were in the midst of celebrating their Quidditch win over the snakes. What was even worse was that it was Georgia Burke.

Georgia Burke, Queen of Long Legs and Luscious Locks, Chaser, and Boy Trap eyed the room with a smirk. Her dark hair was freshly watched from the game and styled as she liked it: full at the roots, long and straight at the ends. She sashayed into the middle of the room, pausing to look around, making sure she had everyone's full attention.

I couldn't help but think that she needed something, or someone, to knock her off her high horse once and for all.

"I just came to congratulate you on your impressive win," she said into the silence. "Well played. I was wondering if anyone would share a commiseration drink with me. Black?"

Georgia Burke, temptress extraordinaire, fixed her dangerous eyes on me, beckoning me. I considered her offer for a moment, looking over at James briefly to catch his dark expression, and I knew the answer. He knew me to well. I couldn't refuse. Uncorking the bottle of Firewhiskey that was already in my hand, I headed over to her, offering it out. She took it as the background whispers started up again, her eyes fixed on me. What was she doing? What game was she playing? I already knew the answer, I just didn't want to face it.

The Slytherins had lost, and it would be the talk of the school until the next thing happened to fuel the whispers. She was making sure she was part of that next thing.

She handed the bottle back to me, and I drank deep, not taking my eyes off her for a moment.

Fixing me with a smile that should have been illegal, she spoke. "Care for a walk, Black?"

"Depends," I drawled, wary around her. What boy wouldn't be? She was a Venus Fly Trap for the likes of me.

"You sound nervous," she commented with a light laugh. I cautioned a glance to James, who was shaking his head a little. He knew the kind of sticky situations I could get myself into, and this may well become one of them.

Maybe it would be - maybe I was already too drunk to care.

"Because I knew you were trouble when you walked in," I told her.

She laughed again. "Of course I am. It's my middle name."

She winked as she took my hand, pulling me towards the portrait hole. Turning back, she let her dark hair swing about her shoulders, enticing.

"Are you coming?" she asked.

Sure, she was using me. I should have said no, she was a Slytherin after all. How was I to know it wasn't a trap. But she looked like a woman in need, and I was a gentleman, after all.

Who was I to refuse?


	4. W is for WolfStar

Written for the Lyric Inspired Drabble Challenge, for Taylor Swift - I Knew You Were Trouble, for the lyric:

 _Flew me to places I'd never been Till you put me down_

Also written for the A-Z Competition, for W - WolfStar

Words: 559

For chronology, this is early 6th Year.

* * *

 **W is for WolfStar**

I liked girls. That was the way it always had been, and always would be. I'd taken it as a given. I hadn't even bothered to give it any thought. I hadn't considered that maybe, I just liked sex, and the semblance of love it created.

Until Remus.

I'd known him for years, of course, but I'd never seen him in that light until we got drunk. We got drunk and went for a walk, and he flew me to places I'd never been. All he said was a subtle joke, a casual glimmer of hope he'd never dare speak sober. That was when I realised I wanted him. Or maybe it was just the drink.

But all the same, it was exciting, invigorating, and I'd thought I was falling in love. That was something I'd never seen coming, but I relished in the happiness it brought.

Until Sunday.

"Sirius, this… this isn't working," he'd begun, looking out over the lake.

"What do you mean?" I asked, unable to contain my shock. We'd been sat together for two hours, content in each other's presence, trying to pull off the image of two guys just hanging out. He sighed angrily. I knew I had it coming, I just didn't know what for.

"You don't want to tell anyone; you don't want to be seen with me in public, and I'm a werewolf. Do you see the problems?" he asked.

"Sort of." I swallowed guiltily. There weren't problems - there was just one. The common denominator, at least to him. Me.

"And can you fix them?"

Well, that was a question. The whole idea of being gay frightened me. I didn't want to tell anyone until I was comfortable with it myself. And I wasn't yet. I couldn't deal with the estrangement - I'd had enough of that already.

And as for the werewolf thing - no, I couldn't fix that. I'd already accepted him for it, but I knew that wasn't enough for him when it came to relationships. He hated putting lives in danger.

"No."

"Exactly."

I wanted to scream and shout, argue until my face was red, but the words disappeared somewhere between my lungs and my vocal chords, hanging at the base of my throat like a giant, cold lump. He got up and left, and I wondered if it would have even made a difference if I had fought for us. It seemed his mind had already been made up.

I sat there long after he was gone, knowing that my heart, which had never been whole, had fractured just a little bit more. The sky turned black and the owls began to hoot. I wouldn't cry, even if my heart begged for it. No one got that privilege. Sirius Black did not cry.

It was then, sat alone in the dark, that I knew that relationships completely and utterly sucked, and that I would never be good at them. I didn't think enough. I'd had my fair share of insomnia, too buy thinking about everything to sleep. I thought life would be easier if I switched that part of my brain off for good. I hated relationships, and happiness, and the eternal sadness both left behind when they closed the door softly behind them and left me in the dark.

But I was always a glutton for punishment.


	5. A is for Alcohol

Written for the Lyric Inspired Drabble Challenge, for Taylor Swift - I Knew You Were Trouble, for the lyric:

 _He was long gone When he met me And I realize the joke is on me_

Also written for the A-Z Competition, for A - Alcohol

Words: 507

For chronology, this is Spring, first year out of Hogwarts.

* * *

 **A is for Alcohol**

"Marlene?" the voice shouted from the fireplace. It was James, of course. It always was.

"Yes, Potter?" I shouted, making my way through from the kitchen.

"Where's Sirius?" he asked. "Also, you know my first name."

"Yes, James. I don't know where he is, I thought he was with you."

"Nope. I have a funny feeling he's gone. Long gone."

I rolled my eyes. I struggled to take James seriously sometimes. Often, when he was saying something in all seriousness, it just sounded like the start of a joke. "He was long gone when he met me. Before, even."

"No, I'm being serious. I think he's done a runner."

Well, shit. Sometimes, I loved Sirius Black, but sometimes, he was way more trouble than he was worth. "What do you mean?"

"I think he's up and left. Any idea where he'd go?"

"No. Not really. But I'll kill him when I find him." I grabbed my coat and keys and headed out the door without even saying goodbye.

I was lying, of course. I had a very good idea as to where he would be. I just wanted to be the one who dragged his sorry ass back home.

I walked into his favourite muggle bar a woman on a mission. It was a dive, but then who would have expected anything more? Sirius, ever the tortured soul, sought misery when he was feeling miserable, and this place had it all. Looking at his sorry form at the bar, I breathed in a heavy sigh.

"I realise, of course, the joke is entirely on me," I said by way of a greeting.

He didn't even bother to look up. "You weren't supposed to find me."

"No, I figured. No one was, right? You were just going to disappear and drink yourself into oblivion. Well, suck it up because tonight ain't your night," I told him.

"Yes, it is. It's been too long coming."

"Oh, don't pull Mr Pathetic with me! Do I need to remind you of everything you'll feel guilty for leaving? Lily's yet-unborn baby, James, Remus, the Order, me. What's so fucking bad this time?" I was angry now, but I was sure I had every right to be.

"Everything! I don't deserve any of it!" he drawled.

"Sirius, I can't fucking deal with this anymore. Seriously, you need to get a grip. Now, come the fuck home or I swear on Merlin's name I'll make you. We'll talk in the morning."

Reluctantly, he followed me, stumbling over his own feet as I sighed.

I helped him into bed, hating the fact that the scene was so familiar. I wanted to talk in the morning, I really did, but I couldn't sleep. I couldn't stay. I didn't need him, but he needed me, and it was exhausting.

At five o'clock, I packed a bag and left, knowing it wasn't the first time I'd left him in the middle of the night.

But I swore to whatever Gods might exist that it would be the last.


	6. I is for Inevitable

Written for Hopscotch over at Hogwarts, for the prompts:

dance (word), "Hold me forever," (dialogue), "Do you feel sick?" (dialogue), exuberant (word), romance (genre)

Also written for the A-Z Challenge, for I - Inevitable.

Words: 1367

Warning for: suggested drug abuse, cursing, suggested underage drinking.

* * *

 **I is for Inevitable**

The dance tonight was going to be torture, not least because I, the Great Sirius Black, didn't have a date. It was virtually unheard of; I never went anywhere without a girl on my arm. But I'd been cocky, left it to the last minute, and Marlene said no. Thankfully, I wasn't the only one. James and Remus didn't have dates, either, though we were surprised that Peter did. I guessed he had cards up his sleeve we didn't know about.

I wondered about the Gryffindor girls, and which of them had dates. Lily usually didn't, but Marlene did. She'd told me as much. Mary was going with Peter; Evangeline usually had someone. But Lauren, James' long-lost sister before they started at Hogwarts, well, no one ever knew. She had always been more of a friend, though, so I'd assumed she was out of the question.

We headed down to the Great Hall in high spirits, helped very much by the bottle of Firewhiskey we'd finished earlier. The Gryffindor girls of our year, of course, weren't there. We liked to arrive fashionably late, but they always waited to arrive after us. I guessed that was a girl's prerogative.

The Ball was a yearly thing, back then. They stopped it shortly after we left, but while we were there, we enjoyed a full school yearly dance at Christmas time, and I use 'enjoy' in the loosest of terms. There weren't many of us who knew how to, and enjoyed, a waltz of a Saturday night.

But when the girls arrived, all eyes were on them. Marlene entered first, the arm of a Hufflepuff draped around her waist. Her long dark locks had been curled and hung down her back. Her dress was a floor length, slender, black number that sparkled as it caught the light. She knew how to dress for her tall figure, and I more than appreciated it.

Mary followed in a green cocktail number, her frizzy red hair piled high on her head in an intricate do. She scrubbed up well, and Peter certainly looked impressed. The final three walked in together, and I was taken aback.

"Holy shit," James commented from my right.

"Seconded."

Evangeline was in a silver number, high on the neck and collared, but short. It was an outdated style, reminiscent of the Swinging Sixties, but it suited her well. Her white blonde hair was straight as it brushed her collarbone.

Lily, well, she was to die for. I didn't blame James for staring. She was wearing a strappy blue dress that came out in a flowing skirt, just below her knees. Her hair was half-up and it was clear one of her friends had forced her into make-up. It was low on her chest, without being revealing, and the colour, a cerulean, accentuated her hair perfectly.

But I was looking at Lauren. I didn't want to know what James would think if he caught me staring at his sister, but I didn't care. Her dirty blonde hair, usually as messy as James' in a bed-head kind of way, fell in soft waves about her face, down to her waistline. Her dress was a sunset purple, cut square at her chest, falling down in a wide skirt. She wore a dark choker that matched her heels, high and with laces that looped around her ankles. She somehow managed to mix punk and 50s pop perfectly, and it certainly caught my attention.

As she began to make her way over to us, Lily rolled her eyes and headed to the drinks table with Evie. If she was hoping to get there before we'd spiked the punch, she'd be let down.

Looking back at Lauren, I noticed a glazed look in her eye as she grinned wide. I briefly wondered what she'd taken, and if I could get some.

"Nice dress," James commented.

"Mine or Lily's?" she asked, mocking him briefly before turning to me. He refused to comment as he walked off, gesturing for Remus to follow him, no doubt as a distraction for Evie as he tried his luck with Lily.

"No date?" I asked Lauren.

"Nope. I had too many offers. I can't go with everyone," she slurred with a wicked grin.

"Are you drunk already?"

"Drunk. Yeah. We'll go with that," she said with a casual wink. It was the seventies, after all.

She turned to watch the dancefloor as I watched her.

"Marlene's watching you," she commented.

"So?" I asked.

"Dance with me." Her smile was suddenly gone as she eyed me beneath heavy lids. I didn't want to refuse.

* * *

"Did Lauren just drag Sirius off to dance?" Lily asked, leaning in to Evangeline.

"Well, it was inevitable. Remus and me have had a bet on them for nearly a year now," the blonde shrugged, picking up a small salmon sandwich.

"Yeah, but, I thought they'd keep up the whole sexual tension thing for a little longer. It was fun to watch."

Evangeline giggled, knowing there was truth in Lily's words.

"Lauren does as Lauren pleases, and the rest of us get whiplash if we try to keep up."

Lily turned back to watch them, but her eye was caught by someone else.

"Oh, great, James is heading over. I don't even get five minutes anymore," she sighed.

"But you love the attention. Keep it up, though. I want to win both bets," Evangeline commented before she began to walk off.

"Evie!" Lily called out, but to no response. She was on her own with this one.

* * *

"Well, this is exuberant!" Lauren called out amid a fit of giggles. We hadn't been dancing for long, but already, she was confusing me.

"Lauren, what are you doing?" I asked her, hoping I'd get her to talk sense.

"Dancing," she told me with a grin.

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.

"We're friends," I told her.

"Are we?"

"What's gotten into you?"

"I'm just having fun."

My questions were getting me nowhere. She wasn't going to give me a straight answer. She was infuriating.

It wasn't long before she needed fresh air, and asked me to accompany her outside. I thought I might get more sense out of her if I took her outside, so I acquiesced.

"Do you feel sick?" I asked, but got no answer.

The air was cold, but not too cold, and the stars were shining bright. She sat on the bottom step and looked up. Slowly, I moved to sit beside her.

I stared at the stars for a while, but when I looked back at her, tears were rolling silently down her face.

"What's up?" I asked as I put an arm around her shoulders. She leaned into my side gently.

"It doesn't matter."

"Really?" I asked her, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm a mess, you know?" she said after a while.

"Eh, all the best people are."

"Everything's just so complicated all the time, and it's like I'm trying to balance all these different versions of me that don't add up."

"Sounds like you need someone to help you out."

She sighed, as if her sadness had suddenly turned to bitterness.

"What I need is someone to hold me forever, someone I can rely on, someone to keep me sane," she commented. "But I can't have that."

"Why not?"

"Because the person I want can't promise me forever."

"How do you know that? Have you asked him?" I asked her, curious. I wanted to know who he was.

"Why ask when you know you won't get the answer you like?"

She looked at me then, and it was a look I didn't recognise on her face. There was a pleading in her eyes that didn't seem to make sense.

"In case you're wrong," I told her.

She stared for a moment longer before making to stand.

"But I'm not," she said, resolve settling in. "I'm going back inside."

As she walked away, something that felt like regret settled in my stomach. A voice echoed in my head: _that could have been something._


	7. P is for Puppy Love

_Written for:_

 _Greek Mythology Mega-Prompt Challenge - Pandora - Write about childish curiosity._

 _School of Prompts - orange_

 _A-Z Challenge_

Words: 1357

* * *

 **P is for Puppy Love**

He'd seen her playing in the park across the street from the attic. He didn't know why his parents didn't let him play on the park with the other kids. He was stuck playing in the stupid garden with his stupid little brother. They didn't have a swing or a slide. In fact, he'd only been on a swing once, and it was wonderful. It felt like flying.

But this girl, with her curly blonde hair and big smile - she looked like she was having the most fun of all. Sirius was only six but he knew fun when he saw it. This girl was fun and he wanted to be her friend.

When he spoke with his mother about her, she didn't understand it. She told him the girl was filthy and he was to stay well away - perhaps they should invite his cousins around to play? Sirius didn't want to play with his cousins. They made him wear girl's clothes and laughed, or played piggy-in-the-middle and he was always the piggy.

When his parents told him they were going out for the day on Sunday, he knew he had a chance. He'd already worked out he could get out of the back garden if he climbed the right branch on the old oak tree. He just had to make sure his brother didn't see him. He just had to hope she was there.

The time came just after lunch, when Regulus had his lessons. Their parents said the lessons he had, in music and art and literature, would make him a more eligible bachelor when he grew up. Sirius wondered why he didn't have lessons, too. He thought it was because he didn't need them.

He headed out into the back garden and began to climb the tree. He made it up quite quickly, having climbed it a hundred times before. Before he knew it, he was lowering himself down from the garden wall, ready to make the final jump.

He'd done it. He was free.

Grinning, he headed around the terrace and towards the main entrance of the park. He began to walk towards the playset and froze.

Was he allowed to play on the park? What could he play on? All the other kids were racing around from slide to swing to roundabout, each empty space soon filled as if they were taking turns, running on a strange schedule. What if he took someone's place?

"You look frightened," a voice came from his right, filled with laughter.

"I don't get to play on parks much," he admitted with a shrug, turning to face the voice.

It was her, grinning at him through a yellow fringe.

"That's sad. I'm Lucy," she said. Lucy. He thought that was a pretty name.

"I'm Sirius," he replied.

Lucy wrinkled up her nose. "That's a funny name."

He decided then that her laugh was the funniest thing he'd ever heard, and he laughed, too.

"Do you want to play on the see-saw?"

"What's a see-saw?"

She laughed again. "Come on, it's fun!"

* * *

Lucy told him her brother took her to the park every Sunday afternoon - he was a big boy and he played football. Sirius tried to go to the park every Sunday, too, so he could see her. It wasn't difficult. His parents were always out 'visiting' on Sundays, which sounded boring to the little boy; and Regulus always had his lessons.

The next Sunday, Sirius and Lucy played on the swings, and she taught him how to get higher before they started to talk.

"How old are you?" she asked.

"I'm six."

"I'm six, too! Which school do you go to? I go to St. Catherine's," she told him with a sense of pride.

"I don't go to school yet," he replied.

"Why? Are you stupid?" she asked with a casual air.

"No!" he protested.

"Oh. Well, where do you learn things?"

"At home."

That answer seemed to satisfy the girl's curiosity.

"Where is home? Where do you live?" she asked. She was full of questions, and Sirius didn't know yet not to answer.

"Thirteen Grimmauld Place," he said, and he was met with her laughter.

"There is no number thirteen, silly," she announced, jumping down from the swing. Sirius ground his to a halt and stood, eager to follow her.

"Maybe you just can't see it," he told her as they walked.

She lead him to the climbing frame and quickly made her way up the tower and then onto the roof. Wary, Sirius followed her, but he found it wasn't as scary as he thought. They lay down on the roof, side by side, staring at the clouds.

"Okay, then do you live in the upstairs flat or the downstairs flat?"

"I just live in the house," he replied, not sure what she meant.

"Now I know you're lying!" she exclaimed, but her giggle said she wasn't mad. "All the houses in Grimmauld Place are in flats. They're too big - people don't buy them as whole houses anymore."

They fell into silence for a while.

"Hey, that cloud looks like a horse!" she announced, pointing up into the summer sky.

"No it doesn't, it's got wings! It's a thestral," Sirius announced.

"What's a thestral?" she asked.

"It's a flying horse, but it's black and it's like a skeleton. You can't see them unless you know about death. I read about them."

Lucy gave him a strange look as if she was deciding whether or not to believe him, before shrugging.

"Where are your parents? Do you have any?" she asked after a while.

Her question sparked something in him. An idea, a thought - a happy one. It sounded nice to not have parents.

"Maybe I don't," he told her, not wanting to lie outright.

Lucy laughed again. "So, you're a strange boy with strange clothes and a strange name. You know funny words. You live in a house that doesn't exist and you don't have any parents. I think you're my imaginary friend. I always wanted one of those," she said with a smile.

"I'm not imaginary, I'm real!" Sirius protested.

"Well, that's what an imaginary person would say!" she argued.

Sirius decided it wasn't worth protesting further. At least he was something to Lucy with yellow hair. At least she called him a friend.

* * *

It was four months later when the bad news came. They were on the swings when two bigger boys came over and stood right in front of them, pointing at Sirius's swing.

"I want to play on that swing," the one of them with bright orange hair said.

"You can't," Lucy said. "My imaginary friend is playing on that swing."

"Imaginary? How can he be imaginary if I can see him?" the other boy said with a smug expression.

Lucy just shrugged. "If you couldn't, you wouldn't believe me."  
As the two boys walked off, purplexed, Lucy stopped swinging and just sat there, looking at Sirius.

"You are my imaginary friend, aren't you?" Lucy was suddenly sad, and Sirius had never known her sad. He knitted his eyebrows in concern and curiosity.

"Why?"

Lucy looked at the floor. "Because my mum says we're moving home soon, somewhere closer to dad's job. If you're imaginary, then you'll come with me," she explained, looking at him hopefully.

Sirius didn't trust his words to come out right. He just shook his head, devastated.

"Oh."

* * *

They didn't play on their last day together. They sat on a bench, their legs swinging beneath them, not knowing how to say, "I'll miss you."

"I won't see you again after today," Lucy said instead.

Sirius smiled a little.

"Yes, you will," he told her. "I'm named after a star remember." He'd told her one rainy Sunday under the picnic table. "You'll see me every night when you look outside."

"But how will I know which one you are?"

"That's easy," he smiled. "I'm the brightest." He paused for a while. "How will I remember you?"

"That's easy, too. Lucy means light. You'll see me when the sun shines."

* * *

 **Let me know what you think of this, or any chapter in this collection!**


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